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Location: The Big Issues
Discussion: What if family committments limit involvement in longer retreat time?
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 AndruP |
What if family committments limit involvement in longer retreat time?
Apr 13 2008, 10:29 PM EDT I just read the chapter from Daniel's Book regarding How Maps Help and a potential mapping out of spiritual progress. Of course such concept is frought with subconscious expectations of the "planning mind". Nevertheless, since the book makes attainment so practically possible, there arises a feeling of being "torn" between family and spiritual commitments. I do not believe I can participate in a retreat longer than a week for at least a couple of years (have a beautiful 3 month old at home). What would you recommend as a basis of solid practice with this situation? - Torn - AP Do you find this valuable? |
 monkeymind |
RE: What if family committments limit involvement in longer retreat ti
Apr 14 2008, 6:28 AM EDT Andru, Being torn between family life and spiritual commitments - I know how that is. The noble eightfold path has this big emphasis on everyday life built right into it - see the chapters on morality in the book you're reading. "Solid practice" is not just insight meditation, it's also about developing the skills of moving gracefully in society. However, for the meditation parts of the path, I found that rising early I have about an hour in the morning, and when our daughter is in bed at night, there's another hour I can use for sitting. Then there's lunch break at work, which I often use for walking meditation along the river. Depending on circumstances, I also tend to do a lot of tranquility meditation - it has a stabilizing effect: I was a bit edgy and irritable from insight practice around Christmas... bad timing, with lots of complex family diplomacy going on over the holidays. :) There's a neverending supply of opportunities for applied Dhamma in everyday life - just keeping the five precepts in mind is a full-time occupation. It's tempting to divide between family and practice, inside and outisde, holy and profane. I found that while it's useless to take daily worries into meditation, it doesn't hurt to practice sila all the time. Hope that helps a little. Cheers, Florian 3 out of 3 found this valuable. Do you? |
 vjhorn |
RE: What if family committments limit involvement in longer retreat ti
Apr 14 2008, 3:09 PM EDT Hey Andru, I agree wholeheartedly with what Florian suggested, in terms of making plenty of time for practice in everyday life. One of my friends was able to get stream-entry by practicing 2-3 hours a day and then going on a week long retreat. He got stream entry on the 5th day, largely because of all the moment he brought into the retreat. That being said, I always suggest to people that they take a good period of time to practice (at least 2 weeks and more if they can) to go for stream-entry on retreat. After that progress seems to be a little easier to make, even off retreat. It's kind of like getting over a big first barrier, and after that the practice has more of a tendency to "do itself." All of that being said, there seems to be a lot of variation from person-to-person on how quickly attainments can arise (assuming one is doing the practice correctly) and so all of what I just said should be viewed as such. The main thing seems to be concerted effort and commitment, whether on or off retreat. :) Best, -Vince 1 out of 1 found this valuable. Do you? |
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AndruP |
Family Committments and Retreat Time
Apr 14 2008, 8:58 PM EDT Thank you both for your thoughts. Even though I try not to compartmentalize life into practice/non-practice sections, when I don't pay attention it divides itself into that way. Coming in contact with Daniel's writings and this website has reinvigorated my practice. I hope to keep this momentum as long as I can, and I appreciate your tips in regards to realistic retreat time. People emphasize variation among achieving attainments between individuals, but real life examples are hard to come by. 2-3 hours is an involved but doable practice. I have done a week at IMS and I hope to be able to do at least that in the next year or two. Would you have any advice regarding self-created retreat, sort of like an observance day? I could see doing something like that in addition. Thanks. - Andrew 1 out of 1 found this valuable. Do you? |
 mai88 |
RE: Family Committments and Retreat Time
Apr 17 2008, 4:45 PM EDT Hi Andrew, this is a very important topic for us dads that you brought up. My solution for this problem is sitting whenever it´s possible, even if it´s just 20 mins and getting up earlier, to bed later. In addition I´m working on keeping the noting going the whole day in all circumstances. This was really hard in the beginning but it get´s easier and easier. I think this really speeds progress up. I hope you find your middle way, Martin 1 out of 1 found this valuable. Do you? |
 Hokai |
RE: Family Committments and Retreat Time
Apr 17 2008, 7:26 PM EDT Most if not all here have jobs and others to consider in our lives on daily basis. I believe this enrichens our view, and makes our experience of Dharma more balanced and comprehensive. If the specific question is "What if family committments limit involvement in longer retreat time?", the solution seems to offer itself - regular daily practice becomes even more important. The path of meditation not being accessible at some times, one should follow the path of action, doing every single thing properly and fully. While in meditation it's essential to be clear about periods of practice and after-practice, in the path of action everything presents an opportunity to deepen one's commitment and receive inspiration. One gets to tread the path AND change the world while doing it. Some types of practice blend more naturally into such circumstances than others. 4 out of 4 found this valuable. Do you? |
